


Deposit

by mittengal



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27145163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mittengal/pseuds/mittengal
Summary: A humorous one shot
Relationships: Amelia Banks/Ronon Dex, Katie Brown/Rodney McKay
Kudos: 1





	Deposit

The scientist walked hurriedly toward the Stargate, glancing over his shoulder at the big Satedan, who was staring at a card in his hand.  
Ronon turned and walked toward the mess hall, still puzzling over the card. Rodney McKay came around the corner and the two collided. “Watch where you’re going! You could have killed me!” Rodney yelled.  
Ronon glared at him, then said, “I bet you can answer a question!”  
“What?” Rodney said irritably.  
“The scientist that just left for Earth said if I ever go there, I should make a deposit in his bank, and gave me this card,” Ronon answered. “Why would I put money in a bank on Earth?”  
Rodney put out his hand, saying,”let me see that.” Then his face turned red, and he stammered, “uh, um, let’s go somewhere private.”  
They went to Rodney’s lab, which was empty at the time.  
“This card is for a sperm bank, not a money bank!” Rodney said, now more composed.  
Ronon gave him a blank look.  
“You know what sperm is?” Rodney asked.  
“Yeah, but what the hell is a sperm bank?” Ronon exclaimed.  
“The scientist was only here temporarily. He runs a fertility clinic and sperm bank on Earth. Men donate their sperm for money. I guess he thought you would be a good candidate,” Rodney explained.  
“You mean he was hitting on me? I should have punched him!” Ronon said angrily.  
“No, no, no!” Rodney said.  
“Then what?” replied Ronon.  
Rodney began to explain about fertility clinics and sperm banks.  
“Many people on Earth have fertility problems, more all the time. Sometimes the woman’s, um, inside lady parts don’t work right and the doctor does the conception in a test tube and injects it in her uterus.” Rodney’s face was red again.  
“I heard the Wraith on Todd’s planet do something like that,” Ronon said. He never understood why Rodney was so embarrassed about such matters.  
“Yes it’s similar, but no uterus involved,” Rodney replied.  
“That's creepy!” Ronon said. “But at least they’re not culling anymore.”  
Rodney agreed.  
“But often it’s the man who has a low sperm count, um, not enough to get the job done. Or he has ED,” Rodney continued.  
“What’s that?” Ronon asked.  
Rodney’s face got even redder. “Erectile dysfunction.”  
Ronon looked blank.  
“Um, it means he can’t, um, er,” he stammered.  
“You mean can’t get it up?” Ronon said.  
“Exactly!” Rodney said, relieved.  
“Is that common?” Ronon asked.  
“Yes,” Rodney answered. “Seems to happen more and more. Pills for it are even advertised on television!”  
“When I was on Earth, most of the men seemed sort of weak,” Ronon exclaimed. “But hey, even you got Katie pregnant!”  
“Thanks a lot!” said Rodney indignantly.  
“No offense,” Ronon replied. “But we rarely heard of anyone with those problems on Sateda. We had birth control, but most people wanted lots of kids because so many were lost to the culling. My great uncle married a younger woman and they had a healthy kid. She didn’t think she could get pregnant anymore, but surprise! My great uncle was in his seventies, maybe even eighty.”  
“Well, if you're ever on Earth and broke, you can make a deposit in his bank!” Rodney said with a grin.  
“No thanks! The only place I want to deposit is my wife!” Ronon said. “When we move to Sateda, we plan to start our family. Amelia will be pregnant within a month!”  
“Care to make a wager on that?” Rodney asked.  
“A week’s pay!” Ronon said, and he won the bet.


End file.
